Grandpa Gaga

For the most part, Grandpa was a nice man who liked best of all to fish. Err… actually he did until Lady Gaga became popular. I was in excruciating pain everytime I stayed in his condo. Dressing like Lady Gaga, my 65 year old grandpa would blast “Poker Face” or “Bad Romance” while dancing like a madman. One time he played Lady Gaga songs all night! I couldn’t sleep atall. I think it might’ve been because of the song “Telephone” ringing in my ears, or that I was thinking of a Lady Nomore mission. Oh, Grandpa, why don’t you just go back to fishing?

Memoir of a Vampire (chapter 1)

Vampires, vampires, vampires! They’re all the rage. Edward Cullen and the other characters in the number one top selling series, Twilight. What you may not know about the vampire kind is that a full fledged war happened in the year of 1085.

Oh, time to introduce myself. My name is Elizabeth Von Couver. This documentary you’re reading is probably one of the last about the long forgotten vampire war.

It was December 31st, 1084. I knew someone was plotting against me and my dad. My dad was the Vampire King of War, VKW for short. He was the strongest, fastest, and most strategic vampire alive. I knew about the plotting because I inherited my dad’s powers when I was born. Of course, my powers wouldn’t mature until my dad died.

Back to the plotting… There were this group of vampires that called themselves “Vonkillers”. My dad and I absolutely LOATHED those vampires! They were set to kill me and my dad. If you thought vampires couldn’t be killed, you were wrong. Vampires can be killed if you stab them with a wooden stake in the center of their heart. I still don’t know why the “Vonkillers” hated my family so much. I could guess that they wanted to gain pride for their own nasty skins. Ughh! I still hold a grudge against “King Vonkiller” for a cruel thing he did in that war.