This year for spring break, Park Ranger and I went to a Gospel camp in Warsaw, Missouri. Actually, it wasn’t in Warsaw. It was in a small area with a lake and a few houses near Warsaw. That is, if a 40 minute drive counts as near.
It was a medium length trip; if you consider two and a half hours as medium. When we had left Kansas, we didn’t see many more cities. Soon all there was was scrubby bushes and browning pine trees. Before we left, we had packed a medium suitcase, two lunch bags, a tote bag, a purse, and two pillows. Then, taking advantage of every bubble of air in our compact car, Park Ranger and I started to drive towards our destination. Wherever that was.
We were half way out of our neighborhood when Park Ranger yelled, “Diamond! Look!” Before I go into this subject, perhaps I should explain my definition of the boundaries of my neighborhood. My neighborhood spans from where there are more people and stores than there are trees there. From that BP gas station, to the bank, to Palazzo 16, to Orange leaf, Sonic, the high school, and Zips.
We had just passed The Egg & I diner at 45 mph, and I was watching some elderly men in a Volkswagen, eating burgers. Then Park Ranger turned to me with an incredulous look on her face. “Diamond! DId you see that? That old lady?”
“Yeah. But they’re guys. Not ladies.”
“Not them! Her!” She pointed rigidly to a silver Lexus passing by. “What’s so special about her?” I asked.
“She looks like 007’s boss from Sky fall!”
Park Ranger stepped on the gas so I could look again. Soon, I was gaping wider than a large mouth bass. The resemblance- short, platinum blond hair, serious face- was almost scary.
Later we had left my neighborhood and after one hour, and were (or is it was? I don’t know any grammar,) in Missouri! We didn’t see a city, but we just were driving on a paved road with few signs that indicated lodging and food, with a second adjacent road, but going the opposite direction. Oh, how BORING.
The Acura crossed over a hill, making rattling noises when it did. Oh, how BORING. There weren’t any mountains or hills, just pine trees, yellowing grass, and occasional farms. Oh, how BORING. Then, out of some intergalactic wormhole forming behind us, a buzz came from it and the most ridiculously fast motorcycle had passed. Nicknamed Bumblebee by Park Ranger and I, because his motorcycle was so fast it buzzed and he was wearing black and yellow, he made both of us jump in shock. He was going so fast, like 100 mph, that he passed cars in front of us and switched to the other lane to exceed all of them. In less than a minute, Bumblebee was no where in sight.
It was really not so exciting after that. There were endless fields of who-knows-what and who-really-cares and feral horses and cows and wild chickens. One thing was not boringly baked with the boring-est boring and seasoned with boring and drizzled with the boring works and a side of fresh boring was that we spotted to wild turkeys. They were hidden among the tall grass so they were hard to see.
When we started to get close to our destination, we saw a 1800’s white picket fence and blue house. It. Was. Old. Private mailboxes were all the rage in this tiny neighborhood. It reminded me of Secretariat and Little House on the Prairie. They have Reese and Nichols in countryside! Even tiny towns have big businesses around.
We had found the place we were looking for. It was a Tiffany blue motel and Tiffany blue church. There was a large lake, too. There was a hand-built dock with a pretty view. The water was very murky and you could see any fish. I assumed that people who lived here had to fish daily for food because there wasn’t a grocery store or restaurant around for miles.
There were three friendly dogs too. Maggie, Shelby, and Junior. Maggie was a middle aged golden retriever. Shelby was a mix between a great Dane, and Jack Russel; she looked like vanilla custard with Oreo crumbs and chunks in it. Junior was a young mutt- a mix between a yellow lab and a terrier and was yellow.
Our motel room was on the third floor seventh room of Motel A. Our room was cramped like college dormitory. There were two sets of bunk beds inter locked, a teeny bathroom, a shower (shared with the room next door), and a closet thing. I found out that we had to share this room with another mother and her daughter. I was getting sleepy. So then, I showered, brushed my teeth, went to the bathroom, and slept in the top bunk. My bed was small, but Park ranger put a sheet and a sleeping bag on it for me.
Good Night!
Welcome to the Shiny Gems Wonderland ------ 
